ADHD and our Mental Health
The Connection Between Executive Functioning and Stress
If you have ADHD, you probably already know how closely it’s tied to mental health. But have you ever stopped to wonder why ADHD can make stress feel like a daily companion? The answer lies in the tricky world of executive functioning—those mental processes that help us plan, organise, manage time, and regulate emotions. For adults with ADHD, these processes don’t just come with a learning curve; they feel more like climbing Everest without oxygen.
Let’s break down how ADHD exacerbates mental health issues and, more importantly, what we can do about it.
Executive Functioning: The ADHD Achilles Heel
Imagine you’re a CEO tasked with running a busy office. Now, imagine that office doesn’t have a receptionist, filing system, or a schedule. That’s executive dysfunction for you. It’s like the CEO of your brain is on permanent vacation while you’re left sorting through the chaos.
For people with ADHD, this chaos leads to:
Missed deadlines: Cue the overwhelming shame spiral.
Forgetfulness: It’s hard to retain and remember things when your brain is firing thoughts like popcorn.
Difficulty prioritising: Everything feels urgent, so you end up doing...nothing.
This lack of structure can make everyday stressors snowball into mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. Add to that the constant societal expectations of being “organised” and “on top of things” (whatever that means), and you’ve got a perfect storm brewing. The fact is our amazing Ferrari brains are having to work really hard at ‘running the office’ and this can seriously drain our battery and our capacity to enjoy life.
How ADHD Magnifies Stress
Here’s the thing: ADHD doesn’t just make us more stressed; it also makes us less equipped to deal with stress when it hits. Some common ways ADHD exacerbates mental health issues include:
Overwhelm from small tasks: A sink full of dishes can feel as daunting as scaling Kilimanjaro.
Emotional dysregulation: It can feel like we’re riding a seriously intense emotional rollercoaster.
Ruminating over mistakes: ADHD brains love to replay failures on an endless loop.
Difficulty seeking help: Asking for help feels like admitting defeat, even when drowning in responsibilities. We’re also prone to rejection sensitivity which isn’t helpful when we need to reach out for support.
And when stress levels rise, executive functioning gets worse. It’s a vicious cycle that leaves many ADHDers feeling stuck, frustrated, and burned out.
Tipping points
I vividly remember the day I lost it over a misplaced car key. It wasn’t just about the key—it was about every little thing I’d forgotten, not done and (in my mind) failed at that week. The car key was just the tipping point. There I was, berating myself and throwing a hissy fit, wondering why my brain couldn’t just work.
Now I realise it’s not about working harder and thrashing myself with the stick, it’s about working smarter with a lot more self-understanding and compassion.
What Can You Do About It?
The good news? There are ways to break the cycle and manage both ADHD and the stress it amplifies. Here are some practical strategies:
1. Master the Art of Outsourcing
ADHDers don’t need to do everything themselves. Automate what you can—from bill payments to supermarket deliveries—and delegate tasks to friends and family. I used to feel ashamed and compare myself to other people (they don’t seem to need this, they manage to do that) but letting this go, outsourcing and getting support has meant I’m happier, healthier and way more productive.
2. Break Tasks into Bite-Sized Pieces
Instead of tackling the entire to-do list at once, focus on small, manageable steps. Can’t clean the whole house? Just start with one drawer. Ask yourself what’s the easiest, smallest step I can take to move forwards.
3. Create a “Low Battery” Protocol
Recognise when your mental energy is low and shift to less demanding tasks. When I’m running on fumes, I switch from work mode to “Netflix and fold laundry” mode. Progress, not perfection.
I’m writing this blog because I know I’m not firing on all cylinders today and I need to do something that gets me into flow rather than something that requires a lot of executive function and focus. If I try to push through I will end up procrastinating, distracted, drained and not doing any of it. Tomorrow is another day.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival. Whether it’s a daily walk, a midday nap, or a good laugh at your favourite ADHD meme page, make time for what recharges you.
5. Build an ADHD-Friendly Routine
Consistency is your secret weapon. Use timers, calendars, and reminders to create a structure you can stick to without feeling trapped by it. Keep it simple though.
6. Address Emotional Dysregulation
Practice mindfulness or grounding exercises to manage those big emotions. Even taking three deep breaths can help reset your nervous system when you’re spiraling. I meditate most mornings and I’ve found that listening to a 10 minute visualisation audio can really help when my brain isn’t in the mood and doesn’t want to play ball. Commit to one minute and go from there. Do what works for you.
7. Seek Support
Whether it’s through therapy, coaching, or ADHD support groups, connecting with others who get it can be a game-changer.
A Light at the End of the ADHD Tunnel
While we absolutely have our superpowers, living with ADHD isn’t easy, but understanding the connection between executive functioning and stress is the first step to breaking free of the cycle. By recognising your triggers, building supportive systems, and giving yourself plenty of grace, you can create a life that feels less like a constant uphill battle.
And if all else fails? Remember this: You’re not alone, and you’re doing the best you can. So cut yourself some slack, grab a cup of coffee, and take it one step at a time. Our amazing Ferrari brains are like sprinters, we’re not built for marathons - we need to rest between those intense bursts.
How can Pair Thinking Help?
Pair Thinking is your ADHD wingman, an A.I. powered coach, teacher, psychology expert and personal assistant. Available 24/7 whenever you need them, they’ll get to know YOU, where you’re at and what you want - recommending and facilitating specific learning modules alongside flexible and adaptable day to day support to help you navigate life. Whether you’re newly diagnosed and discombobulated, someone with goals you can’t seem to achieve, or you’re fed up with feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood and alone, Pair Thinking was created to help ADHDers, like you, shine their light and thrive.
